First day jitters...

I have to admit, the first day out in the field was a bit rocky. Being my first mission trip I tried to get mentally prepared before I left. To try and imagine what to expect. But it was so much more. It's hard to put into words. 

I mean I am used to talking to people, but basically just walking up and asking them, "Do you know Jesus?" Is no small task. How do you break the ice? How do you approach them? The first day was a little awkward. It was a learning curve for me. I was on the bottom and I knew it. I'm sure my friend and translator ivalisse, could tell I was nervous. But we got through it. We talked to many people. Took turns praying with them. I just tried to stay open to the Holy spirit and do the best that I could. 

That night at the hotel I began to pray. "Father help me. I am feeling overwhelmed. Show me what to do. Give me strength. What do I say?"

 I closed my eyes and went to sleep hoping for an answer. For some guidance. I woke up the next morning with one simple question rolling around in my head. 

Why are you here?

As I was reading my Bible that question tumbled around in my head. Over and over. Getting ready for the day I kept thinking... So Robby, why are you here? And the answer was simple. 

I am here because Jesus changed my life. He fixed my broken heart. He gave me hope when I had none. And He can do that for anyone. I believe it so much that I want to tell the whole world. That's why I am here. 

To tell the world!!

Looking back I do feel like God answered my prayer. I felt strengthened by the direction He gave me. Also that morning Joe gave us a great devotion and Debbie offered up a useful verse to me as we headed back out into the field. We had a good team. 

God answers prayers. He hears us when we call out to Him. He gives us what we need. He sent help to me from every direction. The rest of the trip I felt such at ease. I had realized early on that my abilities were not enough. So I just put it in His hands. And I'm not sure if anyone else even noticed the shift in my attitude. But internally I felt the difference. 

Isn't it funny even as christians sometimes we are surprised when the Bible rings true on a personal level...

Philippians 4:13(KJV)

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. 

The Paperboy

Wow. The last nine months of our lives have flown by. It's been like a blur...

At the first of this year, under extreme financial pressure from many different angles I decided to take on a second job. With a new baby on the way, and things the way they were, it seemed another stream of income was definitely needed. 

So I prayed about it and almost immediately was led to send Johnette Dawson a message on FB. She is the publisher at the Cartersville Daily. I asked her did they have any openings in the delivery department, and she said yes. I wanted a job delivering because it seemed that working early in the mornings would be easier and not interfere with my other job. I was blessed to get a route in the city near my house that was only 12 miles long. 

So march 1, I began my route... Seven days a week. Getting there around 5 am and getting done around 7. And for the last nine months I only missed one day of work outside of our daughter being born. Not hard work, but a grind all the same. And the people I met at the paper were all very nice. But working two full time jobs was beginning to wear me down both mentally and spiritually. As our financial situation began to improve dramatically (Praise the Lord!) I began praying about the right time to let this job go. 

And then when an opportunity to go on a mission trip came up in January. God told me it was time. The job had served its purpose. He told me to use December to rest up and prepare for the trip. 

As I threw my last paper I eased over to the side of the road...Not much traffic at 7am on a Sunday morning. Before I knew it tears began to stream down my face. Burying my head in the steering wheel as sobs escaped me. And for the first time in my life I had this feeling come over me. 

And it was not an "I made it" sort of feeling. 

Because this year I had failed. A lot. It was different. It was one of the first moments in my life where I realized that I truly was not alone. God was right there with me. And through this summer and fall when I was too tired and too beat down to carry on, He carried me. Gave me strength when I had none of my own. 

This year I have learned a lot. How close to the edge we all are sometimes. Praise the Lord for the strength He gave me to get my family through these difficult times.... 

I know life is full of hills and valleys, and this Christmas I am so grateful that God is there no matter which one we happen to be on at any given time.

 And as I rest on this hill for a moment....I just want to give Him all the glory. 

Abba Father

Grace is my heartbeat...

  Where would a Christian be without Grace? Dead, In our trespasses. Separated from a holy and righteous God. Unable to have access to Him. However; we know that Jesus’ work at the cross paved the way for our reconciliation. His precious blood opened up the pathway to grace and mercy. Grace then becomes my spiritual heartbeat. Pumping away the sins of my past, present, and future. As a Christian I can't function without it.

 

1 Timothy 2:5-6 (KJV)

5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;

6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

 

   So how do we attain grace? We put our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. It sounds so simple. And if we can do just that, then Gods grace becomes His gift to us… Salvation is a one on one transaction, though. And we must all do our own business at the cross. 

 

  But what good is grace and mercy to an unsaved man? About as good as a parachute left in a plane that he just jumped out of. If he doesn't have it on him, it's useless to him. 

   A lot of teachers would say that grace has no limits. But this would only apply to someone that truly has accepted Christ. The world tells us to live how we want. Aspire to the things of the flesh. But it's a false teaching because the emphasis is always on this world. Gaining blessings here. When a Christian should be more concerned about is what lies ahead in the next world. 

  This over extension of the grace we have received, into the world around us should not go unnoticed. Because it's a lie. A deception. If we truly belong to the shepherd we would hear His voice. We would recognize His word and turn to Him. Leave behind earthly ways. No doubt we all fail sometimes, but there should always be a striving in each of us like a child that wants to please their Father. While we can't earn grace. We can be appreciative of the cost of it. Grateful enough to put God first. 

 

  Praise The Lord for His grace and mercy of my sinful condition. And as Christians we are supposed to show His love to the world. Extend grace and mercy to the hurting and to the lost. But we cannot transfer it. Because it was never our gift to give. 

We could never afford it. 

Excuse to lose...

 I have to admit that I have always been a movie buff. Maybe through the years wasted a little too much time on them. Clinging to little quotes here or there... But one little nugget changed my life when I was a young man. It was a line from the movie "The Hustler" with Paul Newman. 

"What's the trouble losing when you got a good excuse?"

Once upon a time I had aspirations of being a professional pool player. I spent a lot of time traveling out on the road trying to work my way up the semi-pro ladder onto the pro-tour. I remember I had just got knocked out of a tournament and was doing my usual whining about bad breaks when a friend told me... Man your attitude stinks. And he was right. When I lost it was always...not my fault. It had to be because I had the wrong gear... Or the table was warped... Or this or that.

So I started looking into the philosophy of sports. How to play your best. How to stay in the "zone" so to speak. It was about that time that I came across this old movie. And there it was. A long speech from the antagonist about human psychology. And it rang a bell.

 "What's the trouble losing when you got a good excuse!" 

So simple, yet so full of wisdom. Watch anyone perform. Watch them lose. And then immediately nine times out of ten they will provide you with an excuse, a reason they lost. And to take it a little further, the more I studied the game of pool, the more I realized some guys go into the match with their excuses already planned out. These are the ones I looked for. They already knew they were going to lose. 

So I developed this habit. No excuse was good enough. Nothing. If I lost I owned it. No excuses no matter what. And something funny started happening. I went from being the best in Cartersville to one of the best in Atlanta, And then on to be one of the best in Georgia. With one simple mindset...

"No excuse is good enough to give myself permission to lose."

So back to real life. A new life. But some things I have learned in the past are not useless. And I see people everyday that have their excuses, we all do. But some would rather die clinging to them, than listen to the truth. 

"Well I would go to church but (insert excuse)."

"Well I would get involved in that (but)"

"Well I would help them out (but)"

"Well I would believe.....(but)"

They hang on to that excuse like somehow it will save them. Like somehow they can reason with God on judgement day. In the end, God doesn't want to hear any excuses. He sent His Son to die for you... What excuse can compare to that? There is only one way to win in this game of life. 

Eliminate excuses. Humble yourself and cry out to God. He will draw you to Himself. In this life if you lose it's all on you. But unlike some silly pool game, this game has eternal consequences.

Old Adam... I mean Wayne

  Thanksgiving was so good this year. It felt like everyone in my family was on an upswing. Gathered together at my sisters house, the food and fellowship was wonderful. It was there that I was introduced to Wayne. 

"Hey Robby, I'd like you to meet Wayne. He's got a testimony like yours!"(Which normally equates with...he's a stubborn old fool just like you were!...lol)

So most of thanksgiving I talked with Wayne. An older gentleman. Nice guy. We talked a lot about the car business, since we had that in common, and also about a jail ministry he was a part of. At the end of our gathering he and his wife ended up leaving a little earlier so we said goodbye and he was on his way. 

After he left someone said something that struck me... Just small talk of course, but they said old Wayne under that nice shirt was all tattooed up. Like somehow I didn't see the full version. His nice button down shirt had hidden all that. And it wasn't "mean" gossip, it was more along the lines of showing how much of a transformation had happened in his life. 

The spirit nudged me...but on the inside, aren't we all... Tattooed up? Isn't that what original sin is all about? Underneath all these nice new clothes aren't we all like Wayne? 

But let's go one step further and take it all the back to Adam and his original sin. As a matter of fact deep down inside we are all actually Adam. The first man. We are born with his curse. A fallen nature even the sweetest little old lady can't escape from without the help of Jesus! 

When Adam sinned he broke our relationship with God. To repair that we must put our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. He is the only one who can fix that which was lost. He is the only one who can make that relationship whole again. That's why we spend our whole lives "looking" for something. We know deep down inside that we are not complete. We are all born broken. 

But by putting our faith and trust in Jesus Christ, and by reading the Bible, we put Jesus on. Like Wayne's button down shirt HE covers our scars. And then the world only sees our light. 

It's funny I been thinking about old Wayne all week... In my mind I still can't remember seeing any tattoos, about the only thing I can recall is that big smile he had on his face... 

More than a feeling...

  I was writing my testimony out the other day. We are going on a mission trip at church in January and they wanted ours put to paper. As I was writing so many times the words, I feel.. or I felt... crept onto the page. It made me start thinking. 

Back in 2010 I did "feel" like I had lost everything. Rock bottom had hit. Family, friends, possessions, all gone. Seemingly it all "felt" unrepairable. But then... I cried out to God. 

I remember making the choice to come to Oakland heights. Jenna Rummel had pointed me in their direction. Summer and I had only talked one time on the phone at that point. Her grandfather had just passed away and the conversation was short. Over the next few weeks we started talking on the phone a lot more. Just chatting and being friendly. I would ask her about her situation. She would always be so upbeat... I would say aren't you mad? She had just went through a horrible divorce. She would always say no... I'm just going to trust God.

The conversation eventually turned to salvation and she inquired, are you saved?.. I had made a trip to the altar when I was younger, so I said yes... But it really didn't "feel" that way in my heart. It "felt" like I had sinned my way out of Gods presence. I "felt " like I had sinned so much that I was unacceptable to Him.

(The problem with that line of thinking is always the same. If it's not possible that we could ever earn Gods grace, why or how on earth do we think we could ever lose it? It's performance based theology. And I was wrong.)

All the while I was going to church as we were talking. Every week I would sit in the back and she would sit in her spot with the boys. I knew each and every week she expected me to go running to the altar. But I still was unsure. I "felt" so unworthy. If a trip was all it took then I knew I had already done that. And I had just started reading the bible. To be honest I "felt" like if I went to the altar just to appease her or just to "get it over with" then it wouldn't mean very much at all. So I chose to wait. To wait on a tug on my heart before I went to the altar. And God used Joe to reach inside my soul and stir that emotion. That need. That realization of exactly where I was at in Gods kingdom. And nothing could stop me from making that trip once He did. 

(Aside... Funny I hear people talk about it all the time... Well I would go to church, but old so and so is such a hypocrite. Yeah will if old so and so would have stepped in between me and The altar that day he would have got pushed down, lol.)

So I made my trip. I "felt" renewed. I "felt" reborn. 

And as all this was happening my life was still a mess. Bills everywhere. And then out of nowhere an old friend offered me a job selling roofs in storm damaged Oklahoma, I told him something I don't think I've ever said in my life. "Let me pray about it." 

So I did. I prayed and read the bible that night. I went to sleep and then the next morning I woke up and I had my answer. Go

It seemed the oddest thing. God, why would you send me away when I had just found someone really special? But I didn't ask questions. I made the choice to go. To do what I was told. 

  In the beginning we got a hotel room that was our headquarters. Two rooms joined together. Nice... Lol. Bunch of men cramped together. Yuck. Had a kitchenette so we cooked a lot of meals like breakfast and lunch. I got the luxury of sleeping on a recliner since I was the new guy. A few days into It I began training. One of the other salesman would take me out and show me the ropes. How to measure roofs, how to price for tear off, and such. Work all day, go out with the boys at night. Go back to the room. Didn't seem so bad. Drawing a small salary till I got my first sell and no bills to pay. 

 After a while of doing this I really started thinking about what had happened back home. Making the trip to the altar. Trying to get my life back together. Meeting Summer. None of this out here seemed right. God why am I here?

And then it happened. It was just another day. But one night after work I told the guys to go on out without me. I made the decision to stay back. It was then that I chose to start reading my Bible. A lot. Diving into the word it seemed as if I couldn't get enough. Hours upon hours I would read and reread the New Testament. And then in between I would call and talk to Summer. We got to know each other really well. I miss those times in a way. 

But on to the point. After putting my testimony on paper, and looking at it. I thought.... What was the moment? When exactly did I get saved? I know we are quickened in the blink of an eye, reborn into the kingdom of Heaven in a moment. But the time that kept popping up in my head was different than what you'd expect. It had nothing to do with the altar. 

And I think a lot of people wonder about the same thing... Exactly when did I get saved??? Because the altar is such an emotional place. It is there definitely  when I recognized my own need. Recognized how far away from God my sin had taken me. 

But when I really think. Really examine the "moment" I felt saved. 

It was when I made a conscious decision to stay home. To not go out. To choose to get to know God over anything else. And I'm not putting those guys down. But it was in Oklahoma City where I found God. I chose to get to know Him and to learn about His love for us. The lengths He would go to bring us back to Him. It was there that I made my first expression of true belief. My faith came alive. 

It's ok to have feelings. To "feel" excited about the Lord. But at the end of the day those feelings have to take you to a place where you make a choice. You choose God.

I still remember being the first one up and singing in the shower every morning. Surrounded by grumpy old men...

"Feels like I'm born again, feels like I'm living... For the very first time. In my life."

Happy wife, happy life

Happy wife, Happy life...

  I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about marriage. One caller said the key to happiness was, "Happy wife, happy life!" 

I guess he was talking about how If mama ain't happy... ain't nobody happy. Which to me shows how the family unit is evolving. But I guess the real question we should ask ourselves about it is,"What are Gods instructions on marriage?"

 Let's look at a verse out of Ephesians most people don't really want to talk about... I mean with equality and all.

Ephesians 5:22(KJV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 

 Let me preface by saying that this may be the most widely abused scripture in the Bible. Pulled out of context. Used by men to try and rule over women. Used by women to try and declare unfairness in the eyes of God. But if we would read the whole chapter it would become clearer in context. 

Happy wife, Happy life...

  I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about marriage. One caller said the key to happiness was, "Happy wife, happy life!" 

I guess he was talking about how If mama ain't happy... ain't nobody happy. Which to me shows how the family unit is evolving. But I guess the real question we should ask ourselves about it is,"What are Gods instructions on marriage?"

 Let's look at a verse out of Ephesians most people don't really want to talk about... I mean with equality and all.

Ephesians 5:22(KJV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 

 Let me preface by saying that this may be the most widely abused scripture in the Bible. Pulled out of context. Used by men to try and rule over women. Used by women to try and declare unfairness in the eyes of God. But if we would read the whole chapter it would become clearer in context. 

But for now I'm just going to compare it with verse 25. 

Ephesians 5:25(KJV)

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

So your asking... So what. Read it again. Let it soak in. As a husband. It is my duty to love my wife like Christ loved the church. WOW. And you think a woman submitting to her husband is a tall order! So I must love my wife so much that I'm willing to sacrifice my life for her, and her needs. 

No wonder God calls for submission from the wife. If not... then she would completely rule over him. Because the mans job is to lay down his life for her. 

To me God doesn't just come out and say... Well mutually submit to each other. Because then our job would rely on what the other person is doing. No, He says here are your individual instructions, now handle it. 

 And I'm not going to sit here and say my marriage is all peaches and cream. I'm sure my wife struggles with this issue just like I struggle with laying down my selfish pride and sacrificing myself for her. But I will say how blessed I am that she is open to becoming what God wants her to be. And I hope she sees that I'm striving to be the husband that she needs me to be.  

 I do think roles have become reversed as we pick and choose how we want to live and what we want to believe. If only we would read and study Gods word we could see it is not some antiquated way of living... It's a recipe for success in our relationships. 

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I have all of the answers.... 

But I do know where to find them. 

ABBA FATHER